Eleesh Masch
We choose to sit at this table with rice
And fish cooked over the stove for hours.
I stare at hands my mouth will soon clean nice
As I listen to words your fear showers.
My dull eyes pan to a full water pitcher
The mirror beckons brand new conversation
Sugar-coated words from a mask teeth richer
Hiding a raw tongue that threatens foundation.
I pick through the Eleesh, soft meat that hide the bones
That pricked me so many times before, remember?
Each one lines my plate, a sun with rays I have loaned.
I mix boneless meat with rice, placing the embers
Into my mouth and savor the taste earned.
No grain of rice on this plate now burned
My Eleesh rays still reach over the edge
Sitting with only your words left to dredge.
They see me fall
I climb the hills to reach a steady high
Whispers carried by the winds in lament
Claiming these peaks unworthy of proud sighs.
Every journey back feels more permanent
As I feel my temporaries fading.
Thank you for the breeze you have kindly lent
But I am tired and done expecting
When, to you, I’m cursed to be anything.
When they sleep, I walk
These nights creep up on me with these moments passed
When our words would bounce in glee through our beings
Understood for what they were
Expressing our union and love sparkling as one.
You’d call us water and oil
Until the energy only from
Our mixing comes to be.
You are now crystalizing
And I see only shards of
What you play to be gone.
I rain on your faces
A breakthrough thought to have begun
Yet each drop only glides down to the earth
Waiting to make their fall from the sky again.
Tonight I birth a drought
My water lost its path once won.
I carry on lacking this sustenance
Unknown to a certain return.
Sunflower
I’m left here knowing I won’t turn to you,
I know I’m not who you need me to be.
My complacency disappoints you, too.
And warrants your enduring doubt in me.
You say you know what you are, hurt so true,
I thought time could bring you back to me.
But time’s been unkind and had you accrue
A spite and cowardice you’ve grown worthy.
I’ve turned away after searching for it,
Confidence dissipated from our trade
Of blurry thoughts that land in a dark pit.
Following our unknown comes a quiet,
Time said “lower your hand” and I obeyed.
But I wait, forever a hypocrite.
Sands
Twisting my hands, I take deep breaths
Oxygen lulling the waters in my chest.
My moon glitters the dark greens and blue
And I’m unsure of how to proceed.
I look back and doubt a
Remembered peace.
I see screens in front of faces and
Mine flickers before me.
The waters crash into it and
Waves bounce back to rock my heart.
I can’t read blurry stars and
My moon is pulling to unknown places.
Glitching,
Air fill my lungs.
Let my waters reach a shore
Where the sands have the answers.
Diving Woman
As I become lucid again I find myself climbing
I don't remember where the waters dripping down my body are from
But I have bruises from the pushing and probing
And when the pain starts to bloom again
I finally do remember the exhausting fight
And I'm inclined to rest at a spot up ahead
The stillness welcomes a defeat
Where
All I can do is sit here and listen,
That's all I got.
Little did I know
This seat is a diving board
The spite is tight and ripe
And I'm heading down under again.
Second Face
There’s a table, a person, perhaps a drink in front of me
Space but no mass my brain will register.
The world stops inches from my forehead
And there’s myself watching from the roses underneath
Unwilling to reach, unwilling to meet
Not even in a rain that could mean a reunion
So desired yet persistently denied
This, I know, will repeat.